Yup, say it…..

La, la la la   La , la la la

Being hard of hearing and loving music just has me tickled all over.

This is from a music video by LMFAO.   I like listening to it but, I do not like to watch the video.  Go figure.  Check it out, at the end of this post, ya’ll. (not the original video, but a lyric video..you can check out the original on MTV or on YouTube.)

Ahh, ok….what has life got in store for me these days?

The other day I was driving down a less traveled state highway to work, early in the morning.  It was still dark out.  It was drizzling.  A pick up approached going the opposite direction.  At the very last minute I saw a SKUNK!  Oh SHIT! I said to myself and tried to slow down but, could not avoid it due to the pick up.  I could hear a thump.  Definitely hit it.

On this very stretch of the highway, I had hit a skunk two years ago.  The same stretch!  I probably killed the same member of that skunk family too.

Shortly after that, I was like whoa!  A BIG hawk flew low and if I had not slowed down from that skunk, I’d have hit the bird.  It brought back memories…..

Fifteen years ago, I drove on the same stretch of highway and saw a BIG bird and tried to slow down but hit the bird anyway. I cried.  My headlight was shattered.  My mechanic asked me if I had hit the Big Bird.

That was weird…..I’m going to have to really keep an eye out for things closely now.

I don’t know about all of you, but, I always brake for animals whenever I can.  I know I killed two skunks and one big hawk in my lifetime.   I cried when I hit the bird.  The skunks, I did not. Chipmunks, however have been real quick on their feets usually and yes, I brake for them too.  There’s plenty of them where I live.

Yes, I could smell this skunk odor all the way to work that morning.  Guilty expression plastered on my face as I passed many motorists on the major freeway from whence I had got on from the state highway.  People are looking at me or rather, my truck in a funny way.  Am I being paranoid or is there a skunk tail flipping in the wind attached to my truck rear end, I had wondered.

When I got home after work, my pit bull immediately sniffed the back of my truck and shot me a proud look.  My smokey grey cat did the same.  He actually thinks I’m reciprocating from last week when he killed a chipmunk and placed it at the foot of my vehicle. No no no!  I tell him, do not kill chipmunks!  “It’s not like that, Smokey”, I told him. I do not reciprocate in that manner.  Yes, I do talk to my animals, don’t you?

Finally, I asked my son to check the underside of my truck to make sure there’s no remnants of that skunk I ran over earlier that day.  He looked my way and smirked, and I said, “thank you!”

What a relief.

This is definitely a warning to watch out for deers in the coming months.

Here’s LMFAO, La La La…..  These guys create party music of some sort and they don’t take themselves seriously either.  If you party, be sure to play one of their songs. 

Hey ya’ll….

Been a while since I’ve posted anything. I killed Candy, or so that was the idea.  However, I left the site open since it would have been a shame to kill all that post into oblivion, never to be seen again.  When I trash things, they’re gone and never to be seen again.  Never existed.

But, I missed blogging.  I could have created a new site, which I probably have already done more than once.  But, nothing materialized much from that, I kept thinking about Candy.  I hate Candy and I love Candy.  Ugh.  Love/Hate thing is enticing.

I don’t care if anyone reads my post.  I write because I like to write.  I ain’t no great writer either.  I write cuz I like to, simple as that.

My long hiatus has done a lot for me.  It enabled me to think through so many things.  Both online and in the real world.  My life is pretty complicated.  Always have been. I think I have inched up more towards some sort of awakening, a revival of some sort where I know exactly what I must do in order to reach that semblance of stability in my life.  Can you say “empty nest”?   Yea!  I know some people probably think that only a horrible mom would say something like that.  Not true, I assure you.  I am the most loving and compassionate person.  It is just that older kids are a pain in the butt these days.  They’re cute when they’re babies and toddlers.  I love my kids.  I’ve done my part, and so, it’s time for them to fly away and create their own existence.  Taught them, did my job. 

Most recently, I discovered I need to purge or stand firm with toxic people that I either live with or have encountered. That was a wake up call and possibly the reason why my fire lit up again with Candy.

My blog will be going through some revisions. I will no longer add links without anyone’s permission.  If you like my blog and want me to add you to my blogroll, ask.  I will review your blog and if I like it, I will add only if you reciprocate.

In the meantime, here’s Day N Nite……  

The past few days I wasn’t able to catch any ‘On Demand’ movies on my cable channel. I don’t know about some of you, but my cable has this ‘On Demand’ which is one or more premium channels that they offer that is scheduled, or there are more movies available free of charge where you can choose from their premium line ups. What’s really cool about that is that you can stop, rewind, fast-forward, just as if you’re watching a movie on DVD. So, this is the part where I love my cable service since I would be able to choose whatever movie I wanted to watch whenever and if there were interruptions, no problem! I get to be able to re-wind. Or maybe, I’d be like WTF?!!! Did I see what I thought it was??!! Rewind! Pause. *OH!* play. Whatever.

So, these past two days, I get this error message and thought WTF?! I’m pissed. I’m paying money for my cable service and I expect it to work all the time. So, day three, I said FTS! And dialed my Cable Company. I hate calling them, it’s not because I’m hard of hearing. Mostly, it’s because I never get a LIVE person. However, I must say, with my low frequency hearing loss, it helps that these automated and phone borgs usually are females and I hear them just fine.

First I get this automated voice that tells me to press 1 if I wanted to pay my bill, 2 if I wanted cable support. Ahh, I’m glad, I didn’t have to listen to anymore of that shit.

I press 2.

Then, I got this phone bot. I don’t know exactly what they’re called. Supposedly they’re some sort of phoneborgs or something like that. This is how it went:

Phoneborg: Please state the problem you’re having with your cable service.

Me: On Demand

Phoneborg: Thank you. Did you say you are having problems with On Demand, is that correct?

Me: Yes.

Phoneborg: Are you having a problem with placing an order?

Me: No.

Phoneborg: OIC. Ok. Were you watching a movie and it stopped in the middle of showing and would not play again?

Me: No.

Phoneborg: OIC. Would you like to speak to a customer support?

Me: YES! Live Person, yes! please!

Ahh, I almost freaked. Used to be in the past, I’d be saying, “I’d like to speak to a real live person, if you don’t mind!” And, I’d get this response: “I’m sorry, I do not understand your request. Let’s try this again. What kind of cable problem are you having?” And, as you can see, it only got me real frustrated. So, this time, I decided to play along and see where it went. Turns out, it was only about four questions before the phoneborg realizes it, or was programmed to realize that it wasn’t going anywhere! Awesome. I guess it pays to be calm and patience, heh?

This time around, I get this LIVE male voice, why do they have to be males? But, this male voice sounded sexy, so, that wasn’t too bad.

Well, it turns out that last weekend as I unplugged the cable box, I never let it upload completely when it was plugged back into the socket before I had messed around with the channels.

So, tonight I was watching The Talented Mr. Ripley and came away from the movie in, oh! How do I say it? It wasn’t the kind of movie that had me all warmed up. It was a pretty good movie, I’d say this Tom is quite talented. I never bothered to watch that movie when it came out on DVD. It is the kind of movie that could wait. There’s some that you can’t wait and then there are some that you can.

Speaking of movies….

Wolverine is out in the theaters now and I’ve gotten so much good reviews on it from a few people, I know, that have already seen it. I guess I’ll have to put it on my list of movies to catch along with Watchmen and it’s ever changing and glow in the dark knob.

Oh, BTW, if you didn’t know. There’s a way to bypass these automated and/or phoneborgs by pressing zero, most of the time.

Hey! Say! It’s Friday all over again! I love Fridays!

Have a great weekend!

So, the numbers have rose. Turns out there’s really only 7 confirmed death in Mexico (the numbers are rising a bit every time I check the latest.) and 159, or something or the other,suspected death related to this unswine flu. It’s not supposed to be called swine because it’s not swine, it’s as simple as that. So, I’m a gonna call it the Mexican Flu only because it supposedly started there. H1N1 sounds too technical for me.

So, The latest in the news announcing Wisconsin having two confirmed probable case in Milwaukee and one suspect case in central Wisconsin. Four schools in Chicago area have closed down as well as two in Milwaukee and I live within a 300 mile radius within both cities. I’ve been reading up a lot on this and have come to a conclusion. The conclusion is that the media is all hyped up. I think this flu is being hyped up only because it is a new variant that has never been seen in a group of the already four existing virus that are out there.

That’s my guess. Here’s why. I think many people have already contracted that particular flu and that for many, it was mild. I’ve seen SO many people being sick with the flu at work, and have heard about it in my community (I live in a small town and word gets around.)  The doctors weren’t alarmed because their patients were not sick enough to be tested the past several months. In fact, I think my daughter had it and that it was a mild case too. I mean, she had all the symptoms of a flu that resembles this Mexican or rather a typical flu and the doctor assumed it was just a late season seasonal flu so he didn’t bother to test it and that was like two weeks ago.  Right now my kid is getting better but, still has a mild case of cough. This co-worker of mine was coughing, or rather barking a lot at work. In fact, I thought there was a dog in the building and that we were on a drug search drill.

And then there was a tidbit in the news locally that tells people not to bother to call the health department to report any symptoms that they may have in the past two weeks or prior since they’re only interested in current case.  This pretty much tells me the numbers are all messed up.  Pretty typical.  That’s how our Government operates.  On top of it, one has to wonder what else is going on.  A diversion of sorts or is it the real thing?  Then again, I’m betting it is the real thing, and is nothing to get all ado about it.

The bottom line is that USA is more equipped to deal with these things than other countries like Mexico. We have better technology and doctors are more likely to give out Tamiflu when faced with a patient that exhibits severe case of a flu like symptoms.  Even now, there’s another hype by the media scaring people with a theory that there’s fear that this virus could mutate and become some sort of Monster that will shrink Mankind into population levels during the time when our parents were babies.  Mark my words, this is all a hype. Either that or the Government is lying to us all.

If I’m wrong, shit happens. 

In the meantime, just eat right, drink right, and continue your hedonist ritual that will only enhance your immune system.

That’s my verdict as of this moment.

It’s all a hype, trust me.

Have a great week!

I tend to be pretty observant of anything that tends to be out of place around me.  Before I had heard of this Mexican Swine Flu, I was already piqued with the late season flu going around.  Especially in the past three weeks.  It happens, I told myself.  For all I know, the incidents of late season flu is just that:  late season seasonal flu.  Nothing more.  But, instincts tell me to be aware and to be vigilant, strangely so, this time around.

So far, at least three person I know have been sick for the past two weeks.  Not sick enough to be bed ridden completely nor at death’s door, but, just that the flu like symptoms have not been shaken free yet.  All the symptoms are that of a flu and the intensity of at least one of the symptoms seems to be dominant.  I’m no nurse, nary a doctor.  I am not an expert in health related field, except only in the role of being a mom.  Mother’s instincts is what I have. Normally, I tend to pshaw things and not make a big deal of it.  But this one has me wary.

Wary, simply because of the DNA strain of the Mexican Swine Flu.  The one factor that has me worried is the fact that this strain includes a combination of the swine, bird, Aisian, and European, all in one.  Something that has never been seen before.

This particular strain appears to affect healthy young people more who normally tend to have healthier immune system than the very young children and the elderly.  Typically, the young and mid adults, tend to shake the flu off without much ado.  But, death was at their door for many in Mexico. The majority of the cases are occurring in adults between 25 and 44 years of age.

This Mexican Swine Flu has the same symptoms as seasonal flu which includes fever, lethargy, lack of appetite,coughing, runny nose, sore throat, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.

Logically, many people that get the flu, do not always go to their doctor or even bother to visit their clinic or hospitals. Most people ride it out.  With that in mind, how many actual cases of this Mexican Swine Flu are there out there?  With intense media coverage, we can now be sure to see the numbers rise.  As CDC said, it is too late to contain it.  Already, confirmed cases have been reported in Texas, California and Kansas, additionally, possibly New York.  Already we have many college students returning or have returned back from Mexico from spring break.  Many families have their spring breaks in Mexico.

One blogger – underthehill dot wordpress dot com blogged about this and he came across a blogger at europebusines dot blogspot dot com

that theorized that this could be a biological warfare based on several factors, one of which are the strains involved.  Both sites has some interesting links that are worth checking out.  I’m kind of skeptical that it could be biological warfare, however, I’m mindful of ‘never say never’.

CDC officials described the virus as having a unique combination of gene segments not seen before in people or pigs. The bug contains human virus, avian virus from North America and pig viruses from North America, Europe and Asia. It may be completely new, or it may have been around for a while and was only detected now through improved testing and surveillance, CDC officials said.

Normally I’d hear things about certain things going around and usually you’d see a pattern of symptoms and you know, it’s something obvious that is going around. But, this time, I’m noticing a similar yet strange pattern.  It was something that had me piqued thus, it was something I couldn’t ignore.  I just hope it’s all nothing.

But to be on the safe side and to be vigilant, as one commenter stated in one of the news article about this Swine Flu, that if anyone were to suspect that they have the flu, they’d be smart not to go to the doctor’s office or even the clinics or the hospital for obvious reasons.  These places are  a hotbed for spreading the flu.  However, I’m not suggesting one do that or that one shouldn’t.  Personally, I’d call the doctor rather than going into an office full of sick people who might have this particular strain.

One other commenter even suggested that people start buying and storing canned foods and water.  One should also start preparing for anything and have good supply of blankets, flashlights, batteries, and whatever it is to be able to survive being isolated if needed.

I’m not sure what I will do at this point as far as preparing ahead of time, but, I’m definitely keeping a close eye on this one.

Be safe.

This is just a rant page. I had expected to do a lot of reading and finish up my third series of Twilight, which is by the way titled “Eclipse.”

Twilight, pretty much covers what one male reader of mine said perfectly,

“First time they see each other, boom!  Love!  Age, race, sex – who cares, lighting still strikes!”

Coming from a guy, it’s amazing to hear something like that, I guess. I dunno. I do wonder, how discussions about books end up with both sexes when it comes to love, sex and hmmm, cars, for example.

New Moon brings complexity to Bella’s life. Like, for example, when someone you love suddenly disappears out of self-lessness, the pain is so great that It could render the person zombie-like.  Then, there’s more complexity with the wolves and a creepy coven and more!

Eclipse covers the danger surrounding Bella. Bella invites danger unintentionally, not to mention, also bringing danger to the people she loves.  Can one be self-less yet selfish, ah, but of course. With love, that’s possible.  I’m just two chapters away.  Every time I opened up the book, I got interrupted.  Damn!  Anyhow, I will write a full review later and I hope to be able pull it off, the review, that is.

So, here’s the rant!  I had to make an hour round trip twice today. I headed out to do some errand in a not too distant city and went shopping among other things.  Plan changed, the husband decided he wanted in on this trip.  The check light came on which only made our whole trip uneventful since I had to deal with a panic stricken husband who wouldn’t hear any of the theory I may have that may be true.  “I read the whole manual.” I told him.  “I’m pretty sure it’s because you forgot to screw and lock that gas cap.”  Male egos usually don’t put up with anything that gives them the idea that they’re at fault. I don’t know if this is a guy thing for every guy, but, It was kind of irritating when one would NOT even consider that even a gal could be right, ya know?   So, we go back and forth with him thinking I’m some bimbo that knows nothing about cars.  We ended up at a dealer where we bough our vehicle which happened to be on the way.  And, sure enough, this mechanic told him exactly what I said.  So much for not acknowledging that even the wifey does know her shit.  So, I was more than happy to drop him off at one of his buddies house so I can take a break from all that.

I probably spend a good two hour shopping and window shopping and people watching.  I got the fourth series too!  Breaking Dawn.  Whoo!

Finally, I dutifully picked up my husband who’s disappointed the team he was watching on TV lost.

Then as soon as I got home, I had to deal with whodunits.  Do whodunits really exist, or are they just a figment of our imagination?   I had bought something that was for everyone and since my other kid wasn’t home, I made sure there was one left for her.  Everyone acknowledged it and then because I went to bed in the wee hours of the morning, I also got up very early too, I decided to take a nap.  By the time I woke up, my kid calls, asking me to pick her up.  I checked to make sure there’s one of that stuff out for her, but it was gone!  So, I asked suspect number one if he took it, “nope!”  he says,  suspect number two said “Not me” and suspect number 3 said “Not I.”  At that point,  I’m like, what? whodunit bandit struck again?  “This is bullshit,” I said to myself.  Then, I made a comment off handly, noting that perhaps I should move out and live on my own, so I don’t have to deal with whodunits anymore.  “You wouldn’t do that.” they say.  “I know the person doesn’t exists, okay?,” I tell them.

And then, I went to get my other kid and did a bit of an errand to get her a replacement of the same item that the whodunit stole.  Drove back home, did a bit of a chore here and there.  Checked out some stuffs online, goofed off with the dogs, pampered the cats,  and then as I was just about to open and finish up that two chapters of Eclipse I had left to read, I get a phone call from my other kid begging me to drive him out to this town I just went to earlier today since he was supposed to help his friend out tomorrow.  He had just hung out at the town bar and didn’t want to drive.  That’s another hour of driving and I was like, “Aww, I just got back, not too long ago.”  He was begging and promised he’d give me some gas money. “It’s not the gas money,” I tell him.  “I’m tired.”  Finally, he said, “Mom, we’d have fun!”  I’m like “ok, ok, fine.”  I went and got him and headed out of town.  So, I’m ranting about all of the above, but with additional details that isn’t for anyone’s eyes or ears. He was laughing. I was telling him what I thought of the situation and all.  By the time I got to the Whodunits, He was laughing so hard.  Male egos and whodunits are the two things that can drive a woman crazy.  So, we had fun.  We did. We listened to some music and danced to it.    It was great talking to my oldest kid and it kind of made things all better.  Sometimes, ya just gotta let it all out, rant and then, it’s all irrelevant and then, all’s good.

So, anyway, it’s late.  Jimmy Jack Corn and I don’t care, OK?

I’m gonna finish up Eclipse right NOW and then, I’m gonna start reading breaking dawn when the dawn breaks.

Day N Nite by Kid Cudi vs Krookers with lyrics

Tall trees and evergreen shooting up high, surrounding a Gothic castle. The sky was overcast, the sun had just went down, yet, the moon shone so bright.  I’m standing in a clearing, the castle was to the right of where I stood, surrounded by the trees. I see a boy about my age. He and I meet. We talk, we laugh and play. And, it was love. Then the next thing I knew, he tells me he’s a vampire and I tell him that I don’t care. The longings so intense, yearnings to just be with him.

Well, that was a dream I had when I was a kid. Speaking of dreams, currently, I rarely dream which translates into a fact that I just don’t remember my dreams these days.  I probably have mentioned every now and then that I was always boy crazy. So, it would be typical that I would have dreamed of nothing but boys back then.  I don’t know if I still do, I don’t remember my dreams.

Anyhow, I never forgot that dream. Somehow, it kind of tells me at the time, that my soul mate is out there somewhere, someone dark and serious, yet funny and compassionate. I don’t know why the vampire. But, I guess it was “every little girl’s dream” Maybe not “every” little girls out there do, but…..with Twilight being a popular up coming sequel among little girls, teens and even beyond, that’s a lot of hungry girls of all ages, out there.

Anyhow, I got to watch Twilight. And, I really liked the movie a lot. I know exactly what she’s feeling. I’ve felt that in my dreams. How weird is that??

Vampires, for some reason, are intriguing.  See, vampires supposedly have lived for eons.  They came from an era where chivalry rules.  Usually male vampires have this virtue about them that speaks of honor and courtly love.  Can you say dreamy?  Perhaps guys should take note of that, if they really want to lure their dream girl to their arms.

I tend to like to watch the movie first before reading the book since usually the movie doesn’t show everything that’s in the book, as we all know. Yet, there have been times where I tend to read the book first. Since there’s a sequel to Twilight out there, I’m going to put John Grisham aside for a bit and start reading Twilight and beyond.

As some of you know, I’ve written a post on that before. A reader send me a link to a story about Marijuana. I figured since it’s back in the news with such ferver, I might as well dance this dance, again.

∞

Again, we’re seeing marijuana taking it’s hold in in the news quite a lot, lately. This does not sit well with conservative Republicans, unfortunately. You’d think maybe, these conservatives Republicans need to take a puff so they they can chill out and get mellow, ya know? Don’t get me wrong, I like conservatives just as much as I like liberals, I do think we need a little bit of both in our Country.

∞

It just so happens these conservatives tend to blasts the liberal hippies and blame our Country’s misery on them green herbs that does wonders for many people. I happen to know someone who was once a hard-core pot-head. One day, he got convinced by some union guy he was working with, that it was cool to be a hard-core republican. Then! he didn’t smoke pot anymore. He turned into the biggest A-hole anyone has ever seen.  My friends and I tend to joke around with him a lot, we’d tell him, Hey! You used to be so Mellow, but now you’re nothing but a crabby fellow. I do feel sorry for him.  He doesn’t smile anymore.

∞

Speaking of wonders, I came across a message board in Marijuana.com where this hard of hearing guy was raving on and on about how he could hear more with such clarity after taking two hits of this green stuff. Scientists, for years, have disputed this claim and have repeatedly stated that there is *NO* proof scientifically that smoking marijuana improves one’s hearing. It doesn’t improves one’s hearing as the guy would point out. It does give him the ability to hear for the duration of his buzz. If this deaf guy says he can hear with so much clarity, who’s to argue with that? Scientists are usually in cahoots with the  Pharmaceutical companies and,  Pharmaceutical companies do NOT want anyone to know of any natural remedies or cures. Greed does weird things to people.

Last summer, I met an old friend who loves to smoke these wonderful green herbs and as he and I was talking about his new cochlear implant. He was relating how smoking herbs enhances his C.I. He has worn hearing aids for the most part of his life and smoking marijuana has always enhances the sounds in his ear, but, he said the weed just blew his mind away with the sounds coming from his Cochlear Implant. It was all he could talk about all night and before I left, he made me promise him two things. One, I’d get a C.I. and when I do, Two, I’d meet up with him at Schwagstock down in Missouri. I’ll be damn if my friend made that comment in that message board! I’ll have to try to remember to ask him the next time I see him.

∞

It’s not to say that marijuana is legal and allowed at Schwagstock.  It isn’t.  But, it isn’t legal or allowed anywhere in the Country either, and people still manage to toke some here and there as usual.  Soon, just maybe, soon marijuana will be allowed and if it does get legalized for medicinal purposes, the doctors are going to be swamped with many new patients.

∞

Just last week, the DEA announced that they’re not going to be raiding medical marijuana joints anymore. For Stoners, it’s a milestone. Obama is supporting this and believes the Feds shouldn’t be messin’ around with State’s law. Yeah, considering where our President grew up, Hawaii has been known for their awesome herbs. People grow them pretty much anywhere, suspended from a tree, on lavas, and just about anywhere you can you can think of.

Historically, Marijuana has had it’s up and down within the law and culture in America. Often than not, the War On Drugs have been proven to be nothing but a waste of American’s precious dollars.  All of these news came as a result of years of experts trying to make their point that marijuana does have medical benefits.

∞

And on top of that, Obama is from a generation that has had plenty of exposure to these lovely green delicacy.

∞

Think of how much money the States could recoup from allowing Marijuana to be smoked freely and without persecution. It’s definitely a win-win for everyone. It would be a sight to see more and more mellowed people, less road rage and less alcohol ravaged souls. Heck, people could be pulling themselves out of this bad economy by growing and selling their own stash.  Hydroponic makes it easier put big bucks back into the economy.

Capitalism by way of green herbs just makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?

If you’re still not convinced,  Hey!  500 Economist can’t be wrong!

What do I know? I don’t puff ‘em nor do I inhale, I just support my friends who do.  And, for them, it makes them smile and when they smile, I smile.

If you get bored, you might want to practice your lingo while you’re waiting for legalization to happen or even try Aeroponics! How cool is that!

~ Sweets to the sweet:  Adios!~

Here’s AC/DC – “You Shook Me All Night Long”

I was reading a post that Miss Kat’s mom posted where she asked her daughter, Miss Kat:

“When you grow up big like Mommy and Daddy, and you grow a baby in your tummy”  “and that baby is born, do you want your baby to be Deaf like you, or hearing like Mommy and Daddy?” She answered “Deaf”.

Upon reading another post by MKChaikof, where she talked about sharing the news of her daughter, Jessica’s deafness to Rachel when she brought Jessica home from the hospital, to which Rachel said

“I was hoping my little sister would be deaf like me.”

Then I read with interest where Paula Rosenthal, from Hearing Exchange had this to say:

“I wouldn’t (and didn’t) wish that I had a deaf child so she could be like me.”

Want…..Hope……Wish……

Miss Kat is a very young child and her wanting a deaf child (obviously she’s still young and her views may change as she gets older, maybe not.) is pretty typical as you can see, similarly, Rachel at one pointed hoped for a deaf sister so she would have someone she could relate too.  I think it’s pretty normal.  It’s no different than a little boy wishing for a brother.

Once, my son came home and related the following conversation he had with his friends.  At the time he was dating a girl, who’s parents are deaf.  This girl’s family had deaf gene just as my son does.  Apparently conversation ensued among their friends about what if they had kids, what are their chance for having deaf kids?  My son and his girlfriend made a comment that they didn’t care whether they would have a deaf child or not.  It’s not like they’re wishing for it.  They knew they both carried the deaf gene and that if they ever had kid(s) together, the chance of them having deaf kids would be probable.  They were OK with it.  Some of their friends thought it was AWFUL.  “How can you guys be OK with it? They had asked.  Others thought it wasn’t something to get upset about.  My son and his girlfriend said they would know what to do and they would not have grieved.  Others that have no experience with deafness said they would grieve because they thought being deaf was awful.  For most of them, it was the idea of missing out on music and fluid communication.  Clearly our perspective based on our personal experience in deafness shapes how we view the outcomes that occurs in our life.

I have had people asking me the same thing every time I got pregnant with a child.  People asked me what if you have a deaf child?  My response was always the same, “I’d be OK with it.”  I wouldn’t wish for one, but if I had one, I’d be happy and If my child was hearing, I’d be happy.  As long as the child is healthy, that is all that matters.  However, having a deaf child would have been awesome too, it’s because it is something I can relate to. No way is it something I want, wish or hope for.  It’s God’s will. If I was meant to have a deaf children, so be it.  As fate would have it, I was not blessed with deaf children and I’m OK, in fact, I am a bit grateful considering all the controversy that are out there. 

It’s not the same as one really going out of their way to ensure that they have a deaf child.  I know of deaf people who actually go on a quest when searching for their potential life mate.  Some actually make sure that the person they’re with has a deaf gene.  For them, they find it easier to have a deaf child.  Yet, are they wrong to really wish for a deaf child?  I find it quite disturbing to a point, ONLY if the deaf parents actually grieved when they have a hearing child.  There is definitely something wrong with that picture.  Or is that normal? Considering most hearing people with no knowledge or experience, DO grieve when they find out their child is deaf.

For a child to say that they want, wish, or hope for someone to be like them shows the need for one to be able to find someone to relate to. Someone who is like them.

I do not find that to be offensive.

What I find pretty ‘out there’ is the fact that some deaf people will gasp in horror when they find out a deaf couple has a hearing child.  There were a good number of stories related to me that usually goes like this:   A deaf parent of deaf children telling another deaf parent that they are ‘So sorry that their children are not Deaf.”   That comment does throw most deaf parents with hearing child off.  So, all in all, there are deaf extremist who really get upset if their kids are NOT deaf and there are hearing parents who are extremely upset if their child are deaf, both are so much more alike than not.

Simply put, it does make life easier for a parent if the child is like them.  It’s hard to compare deaf to other disabilities,  Deafness is drastically different from any disability,  There isn’t much of a limitation other than the ability to hear which can be dealt with in so many ways.

There also seems to be different regional outlook on this issue among the culturally deaf population.

My family which I was raised with, are a culturally deaf family and even then, my sister related an experience she found disturbing (as did I) when she was asked by a few of her college friend that resided out in the DC area,  if her children are deaf.  She said, no, they’re all hearing.  The response was “What?!, Oh, I am so sorry!” followed by “All of my children are deaf, we are blessed!”   My sister related to me that she felt like perhaps she wasn’t highly revered due to the fact that she ‘failed’ to have deaf children.  She tells her friends that her children are all healthy and that she would not have been any more or less happier with either result.  Turns out many culturally deaf people out on the east coast views the ability to have deaf children equals success for a deaf couple.

This brings out a question I had in my mind.  Where’s the love?  Are there deaf people who carry deaf genes actually go out searching for a mate who carries a deaf gene?  Does love not get into the equation?  I posted that question to my other half who laughed and said, sure there had to be love.  I’m wondering, tho.  It has been said that for the culturally deaf crowd, one would be highly revered had one given birth to deaf kids.  Now, that is what I would consider going too far.

For many deaf parents, having a deaf child means ease in communication, no different from a hearing parent who wish for their deaf child to hear for the very same reason.

For some reason, I just do not see the logic in comparing deafness with other disabling condition such as being crippled and blind.  Deafness seems to be the lessor of all disability and apparently is the only disability, other than dwarfism, that has a cultural component.  But, as such, cultures do die out with changes. For anyone to try to throw in the argument “you wouldn’t want to wish for a crippled child.”  just does not compare equivcally with being deaf, with me.

All my kids are hearing.  When posing that very question to them.  2/3 of them responded that they would prefer to have hearing kids, in fact, they HOPE they would not have a deaf child. And out of that 2/3, they also said if they did have a deaf child, they would deal with it.  Out of the 2/3, only half of them said they would consider a Cochlear Implant.  Music is the number one reason why they felt would be the reason they would feel bad if their child is deaf.   1/3 said they didn’t care, as long as the child is healthy.  What’s also strange is the same half of the 2/3 who would implant their child, didn’t want me to get an implant.  Weird, eh?

Controversy over this issue will continue to present itself as more and more countries start to look at the ethical aspects of creating a designer baby, including a deaf child.  I think we should keep it simple, and let the natural process or higher divinity do what it does best, provide us with a child we were meant to have without wishing for something.  I want my children to have more than I had.  Any flaws I have, I wouldn’t wish on my child.  We have ears and ears are meant to hear, so why wish for something that isn’t working the way it was intend to?

There is a big difference, also, in accepting what you know might be inevitable and what one would do,  such as going to such  great lengths to create something that was not meant to be.

Had my child wanted, hoped, or wished for a sibling or a future child to be just like them, I’d think it was cute.

Children tend to view life in simple terms and for them, to be able to have a sibling just like them, is normal.  For adults, we have all kinds.  Our true self reveals itself to the world.  It reflects who we are and our selfish or unselfish desires.

Sly & The Family Stone – Everyday People

Sometimes I’m right then I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my songs
A butcher, a banker, a drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I’m in
I am everyday people

There is a blue one who can’t accept
The green one for living with
a black ones tryin’ to be a skinny one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby

Ooh sha sha
We gotta live together

I am no better and neither are you
We’re all the same whatever we do
You love me you hate me
You know me and then
Still can’t figure out the bag I’m in
I am everyday people

There is a new man
That doesn’t like the short man
For being such a rich one
That will not help the poor one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on scooby dooby dooby

Ooh sha sha
We got to live together

There is a yellow one that won’t
Accept the black one
That won’t accept the red one
That won’t accept the white one

Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and
Scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
I am everyday people

When Avril Lavigne’s ‘Complicated’ came out several years ago, I liked the song, I also liked that girl because she reminded me of what I was like when I was a teen, nary a care in the world and didn’t care what people thought of her. And, she hung out with guys and was sort of a Tom Boy, just like I did back then.  She also dressed frickin’ weird, like I used to. Only I didn’t skateboard. Had skateboarding been the thing back then when I was a teen, you can be sure I’d be out there skateboarding.  It was the thing to do back then, only it wasn’t the thing to do in Chi-Town in my old neighborhood.   I did the rollerskating bit every weekend with my friends at the roller rink. Everytime I see my skates hangin’ on the side wall in my garage, these warm fuzzy memories floods back. Yup, I still have my skates.

I didn’t have deaf friends to hang out with after school or even on the weekends.  After school and on the weekends, the only friends I hung out with are the ones I grew up with in my neighborhood.  All of my deaf and hard of hearing friends didn’t live nearby.  Besides, they weren’t too comfortable hangin’ out with my friends from my neighborhood.  My neighborhood friends knew how to fingerspell cuz I taught them and they find it very useful when they’re grounded.  We all could fingerspell through the windows of their bedroom until the parents found out we could still communicate!  So, yeah, it’s pretty complicated. I don’t have an answer for why my deaf and hard of hearing friends weren’t cool with hanging out with my hearing friends.  As much as I tried to get them to hang out with us all, they chose not to, much to the dismay of my guy friends.  They thought it would be cool to date some of my deaf and/or hard of hearing friends.  I never dated any of my guy friends, mostly cuz I grew up with them and knew them since I was a toddler.  They tried, but, ya know, it’s complicated.  I saw many of my guy friends like a brother and yeah, they weren’t too happy about it.

When I grew my boobs at around 12 years old, one guy friend asked me if we could date. I said “No.”

“Why?”

“Cuz, I’ve known you like all my life!”

“Aww, comon Candy, pulease?!  You’ve never kissed a guy before right?”

“Yup”

“Why don’t we kiss and see where it goes.”

“Umm, I don’t think so.”

“Please Candy?”

“Umm, OKAY.”

We kissed and then! he put his hands on my pubescent boobs!

“What are you doing!”  I yelled.

“Everyone does that Candy!”  “Candy, just relax and let me put my hands on your boobs.” he said, ever so smoothly.

“Uh uh, no! it’s fucking complicated!”

I told the guy to stop cuz no sparks came and it didn’t feel right. I’ve known this guy since I was two years old. So, he was disappointed.  As this guy and I got older, we’d laugh about that experience.  He’s sweet, but he’s like a brother to me.  Every guy I knew from the neighborhood couldn’t get me to go steady with them.  Yeah, it’s complicated. Usually, I’d prefer to go out with a guy that I didn’t grow up with, ya know?

There was ONE guy in my neighborhood (who didn’t hung out with my crowd) whom I had a crush over, big time!  Everyone knew it.  My friends would see that guy and yell, “Hey Tony!  Candy likes ya!”  And, I’d be horrified, I’d take a peek at the guy, and he’d look my way and smile, showing his awesome dimples and I’d smile back at him and my friends would be like, “Whoa!  Tony and Candy sittin’ in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G…..”  And, I’d be like, oh come guys!  That’s so JUVIE!   We’d all laugh.  What happened to Tony and I?   That’s a story for another day….It’s complicated.

Once, my friends and I went to a movie theater to watch a skateboarding movie. I don’t think it was a box hit, it was definitely a B movie of sorts.  But, after watching that movie, I was pretty down that none of the guys I knew in my neighborhood was into skateboarding. I definitely fell for a few guys in that movie, these long hairs and the way they dressed and how they just did all that cool moves just gets my tummy all complicated.  I still get the butterflies when I see skateboarders.  Don’t ask me why.  It’s one reason why I don’t bother to go by the skateboard park near my house. I’m afraid I might do something stupid.  You see, my youngest son has lots of friends that are skateboarders and BMX riders and they hang out at the skate park.  Imagine how horrified my son would have been.  Many of his skateboarder/BMX friends (whom are a lot older than he) flirts with me and I have had to put them in line…..guess that is a story for another day.  Anyway, back to ‘complicated.’

Complicated seems to be the word these days.  A month ago, I met one of my son’s friend who asked about my oldest boy and how he was doing.  He asked if my oldest was still with Baby and I told him that they weren’t together but they are keeping in touch with each other, told him it’s complicated.  The guy nodded, and said yea, relationships are complicated.  Yup, I told him, “tell me about it!”  He laughed and I laughed.  Relationships are complicated.  I should know. I’ve been with my guy for eons and through the rollercoaster ride of my life, it’s still complicated but we’ve probably been together a lot longer than any of our friends’ relationships. My guy is my best friend and he always will be.  Even if everything is cool and smooth, relationships are complicated in good times and bad.  But, I’m glad my son is back with his Baby, you see, they just made a song together and they’re trying to make a go of it and doing a great job so far! So, it is complicated.

Relationships are complicated.  They just are.  Just because it’s complicated does not mean it’s bad.  There’s no way for a relationship to be the ultimate, awesome, and true unless you have been down the complicated route.  If a relationship was never complicated, then the relationship sucks.  Not meant to be.   Same goes with friendships, it’s gotta be complicated or there really isn’t a true friendship.  Any friendship or relationship, whether they’re platonic or intense *has* to be complicated before you know it is potentially real.

Complicated doesn’t mean fake.  So, if the relationship or friendship has a fake intent, then it isn’t complicated.  Some people are ‘friends’ with some people just to keep their enemies close, that isn’t complicated, that’s fake and that something I started to realize not too long ago.  I never keep my enemies close to me, but apparently there are people out there that do.  What I thought was complicated turned out to be fake. I don’t bother with enemies, heck, I don’t think I have any.

So, yea, life is fucking complicated, eh?

If a relationship or friendship wasn’t complicated, then it was never meant to be.  If it’s complicated, then it’s worth hanging on to.

Life is complicated, that’s why there’s never a dull moment.

Complicated.  Gotta love that word!

In the meantime, I’m gonna try skateboarding, even though it’s complicated. Who knows, I might fall into Tony Hawk’s arm trying some shit ass move and create more complications in my life.  (yea, he’s been to the Skate Park in my town for the Grand Opening Ceremony.  Heck, he helped created the Skate Park design.)  So, yeah, when word gets around that Tony Hawk is comin’ to town again, you can be sure I’d be out there showing him some of my moves.  So, now, I gotta get busy and practice these cool moves.  Nevermind how old I am, I’m pretty good at learning anything fast and If I can still do cool moves with my rollerskates, I can sure do some cool moves with a skateboard, no? 

I’m a complicated person and my life is complicated and that only means one thing. I’m compassionate and full of passion for the true friends in my life and in life itself.

It’s complicated, eh?

In the meantime, while I’m practicing my moves, ya’ll have a great week!!!

Here’s Avril Lavigne – Complicated